Just fucking grow a pair…
‘Come on, man up’
‘Get over yourself’
‘Get a grip’
‘Keep a stiff upper lip’
‘Real men don’t cry…’
Stop. Just for one moment, look up and look out. That’s all I ask….
Last week we lost Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain to suicide. It’s shocking, sad and devastating for their friends and family. Whilst it takes a celebrity suicide for us all to pay a bit more attention for one second, we need to remember that people are taking their own lives, every fucking day. the designers, the chefs, the actors. No, people like you and me. Men, women, kids. 123 people committing suicide in the US every day. 84 men a week take their own lives in the UK.
When you dig a little deeper into those that take their own life and listen to the tales from their loved ones, friends colleagues that had the last call with them, the last interaction, they talk of how they seemed fine, upbeat, energetic, excited about their next adventure….it’s often impossible to spot that their life has become so terribly bleak and disconnected and that their next action will be the one that ends their pain.
I can see your broken arm.
I can see your limp.
I can see the plaster on your hand.
I see that you need to wear glasses.
I see you use a wheelchair.
What I don’t see is your anguish, your dark shadows that are always close by, your confusion, your pain and your despair.
Look, we all play a part. This conversation has to open and not just for 1 month out of 12 for Mental Health Awareness. We just cannot allow it to continue like this.
So, what IS the part you own in this? I wish I had all the answers….
Perhaps if we all started by acting with a little more kindness and from a place of love to one another there would be a sea change. Even if you choose not to live in service of others, at least be kind and give a shit. Maybe that starts with yourself and some ‘inner parenting’?!
When you spend time with people, truly listen. Be with them. Open yourself up and give them your energy.
Just because you can’t see an ailment doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist!
Drop. The. Assumptions. The person may be big, strong and hairy on the outside but that means fuck all if we take that as a reflection of their inner world. Look and see.
Put a call into someone that you haven’t spoken with for a while. Do this once a week. Just to chat, to say hello, to remind them that they are in your thoughts.
Take care of your own mental health, clean up your thinking and make sure your daily practices of good #mindhygiene are in place. Model this to your children. Educate them, not just through what you say but through what you do and how you live.
More than anything, if we all continue to encourage a dialogue, debate and raising awareness, we will all start to collapse the stigma that sits with mental health. Even if doing this helps just one person make an alternative choice to ask for support and stay alive, it’s worth it.
Thanks for taking the time to read this….if you have suggestions, lessons, experiences that you want to share, please do. If you want to ask for help, do it. Just, do it now.
#mentalhealth #mindhygiene #mind #sane #depression #calm #anxiety #health #jolt #mindhygiene #letstalk #thebigconversation #men #menshealthweek #stress