It’s a curious thing…We often tend to go out of our way to make a fuss over other people. We might throw our arms around them and greet them with love and warmth. We give effort to taking care of them. We work to communicate with clarity. We offer them a place to go when they need it.

If they’re cold and shivering, we’re willing to give them the coat off our own back. If they’re feeling lonely, we might sit alongside them for hours on end. We’ll knock up a meal for them, buy them their favourite foods or chauffeur them to wherever they need to go. We honour and acknowledge them for their achievements. And then, when they’ve accomplished something particularly significant, we hold a ceremony and hand them a degree, an award or a prize.

In short, there’s just no end to the ways we open our hearts and souls to show goodness to the people we care about and, in so many cases, to complete strangers. For many of us, behaving with grace and kindness is a way to show the essence of who we are.

If that is the case, how is it that treating ourselves the same way can seem as challenging as walking a high wire, juggling fire or perhaps parachuting from a plane.

It baffles me sometimes.

…And then, I stop. And I look at myself. And I notice where my body feels tight, tense, tired. I observe how my energy is heavy and a weight to drag around. And from here, I do one of two things. Say, ‘oh well, no time to stop now’ and merrily skip on OR I sit in the stillness and yearn for a place to dwell. I am well aware how my soul wants room and permission to rest. And I follow that calling. This will always form a part of my life’s work.

Failing to bother to care for ourselves may not seem like a big deal. However, the issue I am talking about is serious. The issue is not about being too busy or forgetful or just uber altruistic and wanting the world to be a happier place….

It’s about self-neglect, and that is a big deal. Massive. HUGE.

The more I work with people, the more I see how pervasive and common this trait is. Repeatedly, I sit with people and listen as they describe their long-running habit of putting themselves at the end of the list. That’s if they even make the list.

The reality is, whether we do it consciously or unconsciously, intentionally or unintentionally, each time we put our own needs to one side, we dishonour ourselves. When we fail to offer ourselves the rest, the nourishment or the exercise our souls need, we dishonour ourselves.

When we do not point kindness inwards, we dishonour ourselves.

When we isolate ourselves and refuse to ask for and accept help, we dishonour ourselves. When we spend zero time in a state of mental and emotional stillness we dishonour ourselves.

When we fail to speak and live our own truth in our own voice, guess what?? Yep, we dishonour ourselves.

You can spend years attempting to figure out the patterns, causes, learnt responses and how your familial system was the cause of this. That might help you find peace with it. What might be more important is starting to bring to life new habits that can allow you to make changes.

Here are a few questions for you to ponder and ask yourself. Maybe just take one of them. Hold it lightly and see what signs appear and where they are pointing you…

What small things can you do for yourself on a daily basis that, when added together, will contribute to your syntropic wellbeing?

What kind and supportive things can you begin to do for yourself that you’ve been regularly doing for others?

What would help you move yourself to the top of your list and keep it there?

I am curious to hear what resonates with you from my ramblings….👆🏼

As always, with love x